Deacon Allen R. Cicora, M.D. is a deacon at St. Peter, Prince of the Apostles Parish.
My calling to the diaconate began in 2003 with a letter from my pastor, Msgr. Morgan Rowsome inviting me to enter the inquiry phase, a year-long program to discern whether one has a vocation as a deacon.
My wife was on board, and she encouraged me to apply. The wives are a vital part of this process because the husband and wife must go through the program together and make decisions together. If the wife is not entirely on board, a man cannot enter into the program.
At the start of the discernment phase, there were sixty-seven inquirers, and none of us really knew what a deacon was or what he does. During the inquiry phase, we attended five (two and four-hour) sessions on Sundays spread throughout the year. During that time all of us became more familiar with the nature of the diaconate as we discerned whether we had a vocation.
I was in the Navy Reserves at the time, which took up one weekend a month. Since I was a working full-time family physician, most of my non-reserve weekends involved catching up on administrative work which had accumulated during the preceding week.
Near the end of the inquiry year, we were invited to apply to become an aspirant. The aspirancy year began with college classes, starting with a course in philosophy, followed by courses in Theology.
Trying to balance full-time work with college classes almost every Saturday was a real challenge. I spent many sleepless nights writing papers and studying for exams.
The academic aspect continued for a total of four years. I really learned a lot and enjoyed the course contents as taught by professors from St. Thomas University in Houston, but the rigors of the program began to catch up with me about midway into the second year.
I decided to change jobs, hoping to switch to something that would allow me more time to dedicate to the diaconate program. I prayed a rosary with the intention of changing positions to something more compatible with the program.
Two days later, I received a phone call from a recruiter with a job offer that gave me what I needed to continue to participate in the diaconate program. This new opportunity gave me more time to pursue the academic rigors of the program.
During that time, the deacon director for the diocese gave our class a pep talk. He said the more we grew in our spiritual lives and the closer we get to ordination; the more Satan would try to foil our efforts. His message was, “Don't let Satan win.” I took that message to heart and kept it in mind throughout the rest of the program. I fought to stay in the program despite all the other demands on my time and spiritual strength.
Shortly after the beginning of my fourth year in the program, I felt as though I was about to succumb to the multiple demands on my time and strength. It looked as if I would have to give up something, and the only logical thing to eliminate was the diaconate program.
I reflected and prayed about it. In the morning, I told my wife I thought it was time to bail out of the program. I gave her nine reasons why I should quit, and only about two reasons why I should stay. She was very disappointed but told me that if I felt that way, then maybe I should leave the program. I felt hollow inside because I really didn't want to end my participation in the program, but I saw no other alternative.
At the office, I called one of my priest mentors who was about to leave for Rome. I wanted to make sure he had all the medical supplies he would need while he was gone. When I called, a different priest answered the phone. He told me that my mentor had already left for Rome but had a message to deliver to me. My mentor had said to him that he had received a message while he was praying and that the message was that I should continue in the program. My mentor knew nothing of my decision to quit.
I thought to myself, “Really? What about my nine reasons for leaving?” Despite that, I thanked the other priest for passing on the message. Then I asked myself, “Now what?” The only response could be – was to tough it out. I decided to do just that. It wasn't easy, but it seemed that Someone wanted me to continue, and had cleared the way for me.
At the next periodic interview, I was asked if I wanted to continue in the program. My answer was a resounding, “Yes! The only way I'll leave the program is if you kick me out!” I wasn't kicked out, and I continued on to receive the sacrament of Holy Orders and was ordained by Bishop Edmond Carmody on Nov. 8, 2008, with 21 of my brother candidates. Since then, my brother deacons and I have received the encouragement and prayer support of our parishioners.
Just before ordination, I was asked to start a program, entitled, “Catholics Returning Home,” at my parish, St. Peter, Prince of the Apostles Parish in Annaville. The program is an invitation to inactive Catholics to come back to the Church as active participants.
Working with these individuals has been a delight – they all seem so excited about coming home to the Church. My wife had been essential for my success in this program. She would nag me to get things done and when necessary, did a lot of the behind-the-scenes work, typical of the wife of a deacon.
She died five years ago, but I believe she still helps me, by providing intercessory prayer support. Since she and I started the program in 2008, our parish has received some 250 inactive Catholics back into the Church.
Currently, I am the Formation Director for the Diaconate Program in the Diocese of Corpus Christi, and we have a class of thirteen candidates and their wives. We hope to see each of the candidates ordained in 2020.
I look forward to continuing to serve in my vocation as a deacon.